Isn't that the name of a band?? I know it is, I think I have even seen them in concert. I wonder if that name came about from this site. I mean, this is called "Dashboard" and I certainly consider this to be a confessional. I mean...where else canu talk so candidly...? Where else can u speak your mind so freely...open up yr heart, and just be yourself without having to worry about anyone judging you?
Writing down my thoughts and feeling has always been a way to release things in my life. Bad things, good things...or just things I need to "get out". Strange how sometimes the things in yr head...are the last things to reach your tounge. I share alot with my friends, but there are still those thoughts and moments that u keep to yrself. Hence having a lil spot of my own on this site. A non-judgemental place. Somewhere I can be me and say anything I want to....no matter what.
My life has been a series of ups and downs lately. And though I take some comfort in the fact that everyone has those days...sometimes it just seems like MY ups and downs are alot bigger than others. Call me self involved if u want...though most wouldn't even notice because I'm not that introverted person who turns inward when things are bad. I'm still my normal cheerful self. I'm still there for my friends no matter what. I'm still posative...just a little sad.
Being a Pisces I have always been that person that wants to help people. That person that wants to "fix" things, even when they are impossible to fix. I struggle to not only be there for my friends and my kids, but also ALL of my kids friends. It's always worked in my favor...til now. I can't fix everything. I can't make these kids do the right thing, I cant be there for them 24/7 when I have my OWN kids to worry about. I watch as kids I love spiral downward with no one in their lives even noticing. I see cries for help...but those cries aren't directed at me. I feel helpless. Especially when these kids are still trying to hang out with MY kids. Unfortunatly...I have passed on this cursed "fix it" problem to my kids...sooooooooo...when situations arise where I would like my kids to drop certain friends like HOT POTATOES, they can't. THEY TOO want to "fix" and "help" the situations at hand. Now on one hand, I can be patted on the back for raising compassionate kids, but on the other hand I'm kicking myself in the ass for not teaching them when ENOUGH is ENOUGH. Then again....when is enough? When do u give up hope on someone that u love? I mean, if I as a parent had done that with my kids....than maybe I would have lost them. So how do I tell my kids to go against everything in their hearts in trying to help people that they love? And if I can't do that, how do I come to terms with them making that choice without making myself crazy...........?
Always easy to voice my concerns on here, but unfortunatly it doesnt awlways give me the clarity I hope for.
And how fitting is THIS horoscope for me today??? As I feel like a hamster going in circles on his wheel day in and day out revisiting the same problems over and over:
Greetings Samantha --
Here is your horoscope for Monday, August 8:
Sometimes certain circumstances can seem like a rerun of a silly TV show. Fortunately, you can change the channel whenever you want. Heck, it might be time to turn it off altogether!
Stand against a tide of negativity. Be brave and defend what you know is right.
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