busy that I just dont know what to do with myself. Seems that since I have moved out of Vegas my life is just full of overwhelming things.
It's been a pretty relaxing weekend. Ive had a steady stream of visitors since I moved back to Cali. Guess living on the beach tends to do that!
Not that I'm complaining, I really like having company. Just with all of the back issues...my stamina doesnt seem to be what it was...even from a few months ago! This last 10 days has been filled with kids. Well...not really kids. Teenagers. ha ha. Dont know which is worse! Ive had about 10 kids come through my door all in the name of "Spring Break".
And though I must admit it has been nice seeing everyone, I'm definatly ready for tomorrow morning to come. Bags will be packed. Hugs and kisses will be given...and well wishes for a safe trip will be said. And thencome nightfall...my house will once again belong to me.
*sigh*
I've kinda gotten away from working out the past few weeks...which was really helping me sleep. It also seemed to help with the back.
10 am manana, the lady from the State Compinsation Fund will be here to interview me about my work injury. Tomorrow is will be the determining factor in deciding whether or not we go forward with the Dr's plans for a triple vertabrae disc replacement surgery. YAY!
I can hardly wait.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Is there something wrong when...
every single song by Kelly Clarkson reminds you of one person? This to me,
is rather disturbing. Listening to Kelly Clakrson in itself is disturbing, being as Im not now, and have never been into her kind of music....ever.
My friend Gil let me copy all of his CD collection into my computer so that I can start burning CD's. One of those CD's is
Kelly Clarkson I
have to admit, she has a beautiful voice, and her album
Breakaway has me completely stuck.
It's funny how something can remind u of someone, strange how someone's words and feelings can so represent your own. Either Kelly and I have had the same affair and lived the same lives (which Im sincerely doubting being as there is like a 16 yr age gap) Or those songs were written for me. You choose. Either way, this realization has gotten me to thinking. How long should we let someone rule those places in our heads? And what do we do when every sappy love song reminds us of them? I've personally known this man for about 5 years. We've never "dated" so much as been best friends...with sex mixed in there of course. But somewhere in there, something happened. On both sides. Times have been odd, things have changed. He lives in one place, I in another...we've always remained close, and kept in touch. He recently confessed feelings, told me he has always had them,has always been inlove with me, but was scared. He is at an impass in his life. Trying to fix problems that he has created for himself. So I wait. Or do i? What do u do, when the one person that u think u could love the most for all time... seems just out of reach?
This is especially hard for me. Im just not a relationship person. Never have been...and Im not sure i ever will be. Ive had three(yes count them 1...2...3...) serious relationships in my 38 yrs. One being my husband of 12 yrs. My X Mike...and then Milo. I dont succumb to feelings very easily. I often live in my safe little world...ignoring the advances of most men, uness Im due for some booty or feel SERIOUS sparks.
So why is it that this man has ahold of my heart?
There were so many times that I thought this lil game of back and forth was over, done with...and I was ready tomove forward. But there he sits. An image in my mind. Filling up my heart. Right out of my grasp. Feelings there...but for how long...and to what end?
How long do u wait for the one u love? And how do u decide when enough is enough.
Time to move on, and let bygones be bygones....
I guess what is meant to be, will be, regardless of my actions.
Its crazy...no matter how old u get, u just dont have the answers to the most important questions.
is rather disturbing. Listening to Kelly Clakrson in itself is disturbing, being as Im not now, and have never been into her kind of music....ever.
My friend Gil let me copy all of his CD collection into my computer so that I can start burning CD's. One of those CD's is
Kelly Clarkson I
have to admit, she has a beautiful voice, and her album
Breakaway has me completely stuck.
It's funny how something can remind u of someone, strange how someone's words and feelings can so represent your own. Either Kelly and I have had the same affair and lived the same lives (which Im sincerely doubting being as there is like a 16 yr age gap) Or those songs were written for me. You choose. Either way, this realization has gotten me to thinking. How long should we let someone rule those places in our heads? And what do we do when every sappy love song reminds us of them? I've personally known this man for about 5 years. We've never "dated" so much as been best friends...with sex mixed in there of course. But somewhere in there, something happened. On both sides. Times have been odd, things have changed. He lives in one place, I in another...we've always remained close, and kept in touch. He recently confessed feelings, told me he has always had them,has always been inlove with me, but was scared. He is at an impass in his life. Trying to fix problems that he has created for himself. So I wait. Or do i? What do u do, when the one person that u think u could love the most for all time... seems just out of reach?
This is especially hard for me. Im just not a relationship person. Never have been...and Im not sure i ever will be. Ive had three(yes count them 1...2...3...) serious relationships in my 38 yrs. One being my husband of 12 yrs. My X Mike...and then Milo. I dont succumb to feelings very easily. I often live in my safe little world...ignoring the advances of most men, uness Im due for some booty or feel SERIOUS sparks.
So why is it that this man has ahold of my heart?
There were so many times that I thought this lil game of back and forth was over, done with...and I was ready tomove forward. But there he sits. An image in my mind. Filling up my heart. Right out of my grasp. Feelings there...but for how long...and to what end?
How long do u wait for the one u love? And how do u decide when enough is enough.
Time to move on, and let bygones be bygones....
I guess what is meant to be, will be, regardless of my actions.
Its crazy...no matter how old u get, u just dont have the answers to the most important questions.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Horoscopes...
Are something I live by, it always amazes me how close they are to what is really going on in yr life.
Dear Samantha,
Here is your horoscopefor Tuesday, March 14:
You have the soul of a poet. You're able to see the underlying connections and the subtleties that other people just gloss over. You know that human nature is basically good, even when times seem to indicate otherwise.
Lately Ive been SO stuck on
Limewire and Myspace that I'm suprised I can even find time to sleep. LOL
Guess I'm slaggin on my blog, but OH, I'm having SO much fun doin' it!!!!!
Dear Samantha,
Here is your horoscopefor Tuesday, March 14:
You have the soul of a poet. You're able to see the underlying connections and the subtleties that other people just gloss over. You know that human nature is basically good, even when times seem to indicate otherwise.
Lately Ive been SO stuck on
Limewire and Myspace that I'm suprised I can even find time to sleep. LOL
Guess I'm slaggin on my blog, but OH, I'm having SO much fun doin' it!!!!!
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Todays Horoscope:
Pisces Horoscope:
March 08, 2006
All of us worry from time to time, especially when tiny issues suddenly seem to multiply. At the moment, you might be worrying a bit more than you really should, but you won't be willing to let it go until you've spoken to someone about it. Whether the issue is health or work-related doesn't matter. Face it, get it over with, and get it done. It's time for a new start, but you won't be able to pull that off until you're sure.
isnt it funny how horoscopes always seem to hit the head on the nail?? Who WRITES this stuff anyhow??
A funny for everyone, this shit ALWAYS makes me SMILE!!
March 08, 2006
All of us worry from time to time, especially when tiny issues suddenly seem to multiply. At the moment, you might be worrying a bit more than you really should, but you won't be willing to let it go until you've spoken to someone about it. Whether the issue is health or work-related doesn't matter. Face it, get it over with, and get it done. It's time for a new start, but you won't be able to pull that off until you're sure.
isnt it funny how horoscopes always seem to hit the head on the nail?? Who WRITES this stuff anyhow??
A funny for everyone, this shit ALWAYS makes me SMILE!!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Been Busy...
Playing on MySpace.com. I've had an account on there for a long time, just kinda let it sit there because I was busy with other things inmy life.
Been STUCK on it, I think everyone should check it out, it is a great way to find people u have lost and stay in touch with those u havent lost! My addy is http://www.myspace.com/sammie1968
On another note, went to the Dr' today and found out that he is really thinking SURGERY. Not one, but two...one of them being disc replacement. *fun*
Kinda depressed. Things like this don't usually happen to someone that just turned 38 last week...so why do they always seem to happen to me?
Just another bump in the road I suppose. Least I got some good drugs out of it, which makes the pain at least somewhat bearable.
Been STUCK on it, I think everyone should check it out, it is a great way to find people u have lost and stay in touch with those u havent lost! My addy is http://www.myspace.com/sammie1968
On another note, went to the Dr' today and found out that he is really thinking SURGERY. Not one, but two...one of them being disc replacement. *fun*
Kinda depressed. Things like this don't usually happen to someone that just turned 38 last week...so why do they always seem to happen to me?
Just another bump in the road I suppose. Least I got some good drugs out of it, which makes the pain at least somewhat bearable.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Today was a good day....
Didn't start out that way...my car wouldn't start, I had to call my "mommy" to come pick me up and give me a ride to work(but come to think of it, Im close enough to call my mommy to come help me, which in itself is a great feeling). Got to work a few minutes late, wet hair, no makeup...and to top it all off, I had a DATE after work. Yes boys and girls, you heard it right...a date. Havasu Guy. Met him in Havasu about 2-3 yrs ago. He came to visit me in Vegas a few times. We've always stayed in touch. We have amazing chemistry, always have. The only problem we have ever had was distance. I lived in Vegas, he in Orange County. Now I've moved back home, and the distance has gone from 5 1/2 -6 hrs, to 1 1/2 hrs. A HGE difference and it's a distance he has decided he is willing to travel to see me. Kewl thing is, his daughter goes to UCSB, so he has to pass right through where I live everytime he goes to see her. Being around him most of the day and until midnight tonight has made me realize how much I miss dating. You see, I've always been a very happy single girl. I'm content to be by myself, and I've never "had" to have a man like so many women I know.
Since moving back from Vegas, I've really been low low key as far as a social life is concerned. And I really don't know why. I mean, I'm back in my home town, back on MY turf. Living in a place where I know everyone, and can hardly go into a store without running into someone I know. So why such a lull in my dating/social life?? This is something I have been pondering for the past several weeks and I have come to the conclusion that it is my own fault.
I just haven't been "up" to it. Between the flu, back problems, moving, a new job...and all of that jazz...I've basically let things for ME slide. Adjusting to a whole new life after moving isn't ever easy, especially when u move from state to state. The kids and I have had to completly re-adjust and I can honestly admit, it hasn't been an easy transition. We went from being popular people with plenty of social activity and friends, to moving back home to virtually none of our friends where we left them. Up until now, we have just let it be that way. We work, come home and spend time as a family. I visit my brother, my parents...and a few of my Vegas friends have come to visit, but it's not the same. I want that comfort of going out, having friends to call to meet up for a drink...and Ive decided I'm the only one that can fix that.
Going on a date was my new start. Talking for hours, lil kisses like happy teenagers...it all felt good. Made me feel alive. I like George(for those of you reading in the past he is the one that is going to help me restore my old timer pickup truck!)
I've had alot on my mind lately. My brian starts spinning, and I seem to have the perfect topic to blog about...everytime I'm NO WHERE near a computer. I'm going to start making notes. Writing down my thoughts and feelings is a way that I've always dealt with shit in my life, and putting it all to paper(or computer screen in the current moment) always gives me a calming feeling. My own personal way of getting things out of my head.
I feel at peace tonight as I head to bed. Still feeling fresh kisses on my lips. The feeling of life starting once again. Doing things for ME, and finding time to put myself out there and meet people. Regain the social life I once had. Do something for myself for once.
It's been a god day.
And even though, in my life, all days are good days...this one ranked up there just a lil higher than most lately.
Sweet Dreams everyone, I know I'll be having them =)
Since moving back from Vegas, I've really been low low key as far as a social life is concerned. And I really don't know why. I mean, I'm back in my home town, back on MY turf. Living in a place where I know everyone, and can hardly go into a store without running into someone I know. So why such a lull in my dating/social life?? This is something I have been pondering for the past several weeks and I have come to the conclusion that it is my own fault.
I just haven't been "up" to it. Between the flu, back problems, moving, a new job...and all of that jazz...I've basically let things for ME slide. Adjusting to a whole new life after moving isn't ever easy, especially when u move from state to state. The kids and I have had to completly re-adjust and I can honestly admit, it hasn't been an easy transition. We went from being popular people with plenty of social activity and friends, to moving back home to virtually none of our friends where we left them. Up until now, we have just let it be that way. We work, come home and spend time as a family. I visit my brother, my parents...and a few of my Vegas friends have come to visit, but it's not the same. I want that comfort of going out, having friends to call to meet up for a drink...and Ive decided I'm the only one that can fix that.
Going on a date was my new start. Talking for hours, lil kisses like happy teenagers...it all felt good. Made me feel alive. I like George(for those of you reading in the past he is the one that is going to help me restore my old timer pickup truck!)
I've had alot on my mind lately. My brian starts spinning, and I seem to have the perfect topic to blog about...everytime I'm NO WHERE near a computer. I'm going to start making notes. Writing down my thoughts and feelings is a way that I've always dealt with shit in my life, and putting it all to paper(or computer screen in the current moment) always gives me a calming feeling. My own personal way of getting things out of my head.
I feel at peace tonight as I head to bed. Still feeling fresh kisses on my lips. The feeling of life starting once again. Doing things for ME, and finding time to put myself out there and meet people. Regain the social life I once had. Do something for myself for once.
It's been a god day.
And even though, in my life, all days are good days...this one ranked up there just a lil higher than most lately.
Sweet Dreams everyone, I know I'll be having them =)
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