Closure....

Haven't had much time to post lately...and I was sure everyone was tired of hearing about the packing..hahaThings are progressing along very nicely. Found a place to stay for a month or two until my house it ready. Got a second job a few nights a week working at
TheGreek
waitressing, my brothers fiance works there, and not only can she rake in a few hundred on a slow night, but it is FUNNNN. Greek dancers, belly dancers...it'll be a kewl way to get me through Xmas =) Plus it is RIGHT on the water!!!!
It's been a long few days. Time always seems to FLY until u want to get the hell out of somewhere, then it goes at a snails pace.There has also been some things going on. My x husband seems to have found himself...and while skipping along that path, my childrens father seems to have re-emerged. You see, we always had a pretty good relationship. He was a great father to our children. He coached all of their sports teams. My walls boast his coaching ability, team pictures of all my kids sports and daddy is right there smiling with the team. Somewhere in there, problems started. And by the time our divorce was final, the man I knew was nowhere to be found. Not even the father. He started drinking. Going out a lot. Flaking on our kids...and being mean and nasty when they were with him. I know that he was hurt. I also know it was easier to lash out than to deal with what was going on. But that still didn't make it ok for the kids. Knowing there was no way to hurt me, he started trying to do that through the kids. One of my main reasons for moving to another state was that I didn't want my kids to endure a lifetime(let alone a childhood) full of all of these bad memories. So we moved. My kids all agree that this, in hindsight...was possibly the best choice that I have ever made for them. Even though they still endured those bad moments with their father, they were few and far between. Going home for the holidays was always bittersweet because we never knew what to expect. One thing I knew for sure...the saying "You never truly know someone until u divorce them" has always rung true in my ears.
Fast forward 5 years...and my decision to move back home. None of my kids had spoken to their father for over a year. Last summer, when my youngest finally had the courage to stand up to him(Rick was trying to convince Drew to move in with him) and tell him "dad, I don't want to live with you...I want to stay with mom" was the last time ANY of the three of them had spoken to him. Birthdays have come and gone...Christmas and Thanxgiving. We always go home for the holidays and Rick never appeared on the doorstep, though he knew we were there.
The week we made the decision to come home, out of the blue Rick starts calling. Seems he has been in AA, and getting his life in order. It's been a bumpy ride. The kids have a lot of pent up anger and frustrations regarding their dad. Especially my daughter. I have explained to that in order to give someone a chance, u must really give them a chance. Open your heart, open yr mind...and realize that all of this didn't happen over night, and someone can't change overnight.The last few months have been an emotional ride. But I am finally able to have a decent relationship with my X. And my kids are finally happy as their father is making a true effort to be the father they so desperately need.
On another front...my brother seems to have had an epiphany as well. You see, he has a horrible temper. He seems to have some sort of resentment with the world, but mostly our father. I love my brother, we have always been close. But being one of the closest people to a temperamental person isn't always the best thing. I tend to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and the brunt of his temper seems to fall on either my shoulders, or Autumns(his fiance). Autumn had enough and said that she wouldn't be engaged let alone married to a man that thought OUTBURSTS were a way to problem solve. She had been to a self help seminar a few years ago and urged him to go to The Forum

So in the last few days...Amongst the hustle and bustle of moving, I have had the two men that I have loved the most in my life... Who are also the two men who have hurt me the most in my life ask me for forgiveness, and apologize for some of their actions....And making changes in their lives to assure that mistakes aren't repeated. My x even went as far as to go to my parents house(they used to love this man to death) and make amends. Enough so that my mom broke down in tears. She had often wondered what had happened to the son-in-law that she had loved so much.
Emotional for sure. The timing on this...Though great being as I will be living 5 minutes from either of them...Is also at a very stressful time in my life...Moving in 10 days. Needless to say, I am worn out. I told my brother that I felt like an emotional sandwich between the two of them...They the bread, me the melting cheese in the middle...hahaha.
He got a good chuckle out of that.
So things change....life goes on. People come full circle. You get some closure on some issues...and new doors for new possibilities open up. I feel like a very lucky woman at the present moment...well actually always. But today, the the skies seem a little bluer, the sun a little brighter...Have a great day everyone, and don't forget....it's better late than never. And just when u have given up on someone, they can turn around at a moments notice and surprise you =)

For soem reason my "Links" arent working so here they are:
The Greek http://www.greekventuraharbor.com/
And The Forum http://www.landmarkeducation.com