Moments of indecision...
I've always been a very decisive person. I know what I want, when I want it, and how I am going to go about getting it.
Fastforward to the HERE and NOW.
So many things in my life seem up in the air.
Living in Las Vegas leaves u in a "less than desirable" situation.
Granted, in the beginning it seems just FANTABULOUS!!! Then reality sets in...
SO many people, So many drugs...SO SO SO many latch key kids...SO MUCH CRIME!~!~!~
Seems like the "Land of the Undesirables" And that is where my life sits at the
moment. Defiantly NOT a place that any somewhat normal person would want to raise
their children. So is the story of my life. Make changes and move on, only to realize
that everything u really wanted in the palm of yr hand...lies in the place u left.
I've made the decision to move back homehttp://www.ci.ventura.ca.us/Living/index.asp much to the dismay of most of my friends in Vegas(though most of them wonder what would have EVER possessed me to move away from the beaches of Southern California in the first place)
I know it is what is best for my kids, which in all honesty is always my #1 priority.
So now the wheels are set in motion. I feel relieved in some way. The kids are already gone for the summer and the plan was to be out of "Sin City" by the end of Aug or Beginning of Sept....Now here come the issues. Trying to get myself out of debt and find a way to save enough money to move back to a place where the cost of living is three times what it is here =(
My brother has been riding me, though he knew the moment I sent the kids it would be 3-4 months til I moved...so why now after just three weeks am I feeling SO pressured to move RIGHT THIS MINUTE?? I've been so completely overwhelmed by stress. Trouble sleeping...Anxiety in my stomach...And my brother just doesn't GET IT...money doesn't grow on trees!!! My daughter(who is 17) calls me everyday saying "mommy...I neeeeeeeed you!' Which though Im glad for the closeness with her...makes me feel bad because I want to be with my kids. I just need a little time to pull it all together, or line up all of my ducks!!
So, now to make the familia recognize that everything in life takes some time.
*sigh*
Maybe I should start meditating or Yoga to combat stress!!!!