So........

I wrote a long post yesterday only for my server to crash before I was able to publish it....
ain't THAT a bitch?
It's been a long week, and it's still only Weds. *sigh*
Though I must admit my indecision has now past and I am ready to move forward in life.
Make life changes that will allow my children and I to move out of this place we now call
home and go back to be with our family.
Time to start doing all of the things u do before u move out of state (againnnnnnnnnnn....!!!)
Work on my resume (how does one go about this without her laptop?) Start getting it out there,
looking for a job, looking for a place to live. Good thing is, my daughter said she had noticed that there were alot of really cute place for rent on the beach.
THE BEACH! That in itself is enough to make me want to DROP everything and RUN home.
The SAND the SURF and the SUN. I really can't wait. I remember when I left the beach 5 1/2 years ago. My friends were all astounded that I was actually going to leave. They all said that I was a "beach bunny" and that I would never make it so far away from the water. I'm sure me being a water sign (Pisces) has always been part of my draw to the water. So I moved, and thought I would prove them wrong. And I did...for a while. Time passed and I was never homesick(was I fooling myself?) I didn't realize then what I realize now. I had basically pulled back from my family, not talking to anyone much. Now looking back, I realize that I WAS homesick, and by not speaking to my family on a regular basis...I was able to avoid those feelings in my gut. I only went home for the holidays in the beginning. As time passed I would go back in there summer here and there. Last summer it seems like all of my friends were getting married so I was home more. The more I went home, the harder it was to leave.
Then in Oct 2003 I was in Bakersfield with my then boyfrriend Mike visiting some of our friends. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed that I had a voicemail from my parents number. That was one of the worst phonecalls I have recieved to date. My brother Chris was in an accident at Pismo. Riding the dunes on his dirtbike he had misjudged a jump and gone over a dune that he hadn't previously jumped. There was a 50 ft drop on the other side. My brother was airlifted to San Luis Obispo and was in ICU. He had broken his back in three places, collar bone in 2 places, pelvic bone in two places, 10 ribs and collapsed both lungs. They had to DRILL though his chest while he was awake to re-inflate his lungs. He almost died. The Doctor said if he hadnt been wearing all of the top of the line gear he was, he would have most likely died.
Since THAT MOMENT....I've wanted to move home. If something would have ever happened to my brother and I hadn't been there...I would have wanted to die.
Sometimes...when life is crappy and u look around u and feel like u have nothing, all u have to do is look up and see yr family...and then u know everything will always be alright.
I can't wait to move home and once again expierence the day to day life with my family.
Something I will never take for granted again. =)